Flexibility

If it seems like I haven’t been writing a for a few days, I think that’s because I haven’t been. I think Saturday was the last day that I actually tried to sit down and write. But I barely put any words to paper. And since then, I haven’t even tried to write anything else. But it’s been a good adventure if nothing else. I think I over did it at the lake yesterday, because my body is sore. So sore. Over the course of the day, it’s gotten a little bit better. I had a nap, too, and that was necessary and it felt good. I don’t have any plans tomorrow that require me to leave the house, so I think I’m going to use my second wind from that earlier nap to get some writing done. I also had something thrown on to my Thursday, which I was not expecting, so I’m going to try to get a lot done tonight and tomorrow that I was planning on getting done on Thursday. It’s going to require either working hard, or accepting that some things will be pushed to later days. I think I’m going to try the hustle. Hilariously, I put a planner sticker on Thursday that says “HUSTLE”, and now it’s become a day where I probably won’t get much done. Alas! Life changes and being flexible is key.

In good news, I figured that today would be a bit of a wash, so I only scheduled myself to do three things. I want to go through all my settings, which was a smart choice because I only have eight settings as opposed to fifteen characters. Then I want to glance through the book one timeline, and keep on writing the book two plot. So hopefully I can get through all that. It’s only 11pm, so I think I have a chance.

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Lake Day

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I took an actual day off today! I went to the lake for most of the day and just relaxed with family. It was amazing. After having those couple of days with all the stress, looming anxiety, working hard, and not taking time to myself, this was much needed. I packed my notebooks with me, but I didn’t even open them, and that was the right call. I feel much more rejuvenated. The only downside from the day was that I burnt my back. Oops! C’est la vie, though. The only productive thing I did today was set up my planner for the week. Because even though I took a few days off, I still want to have a productive week.

I honestly have no more content to add here. I’m off to sleep!

Almost A Day Off

I didn’t sleep well last night. There were weird dreams with excessively tall slides and giraffes. And I was slipping in and out of sleep for hours this morning. I didn’t enjoy it. Well, I usually enjoy falling back to sleep, it was just that I couldn’t stay there. But I guess it was okay because today was a very low key day. There were some errands to run, but for the most part, I just stayed at home, in my bed, watching Netflix. I think I might have written around two hundred words, but that was about it. I did say that I should take today off, though so I’m not even mad about it. It’s only 10:30pm and I actually think I might get to sleep before it rolls over to tomorrow. I’m not even sitting down for the evening to plan out my agenda. I’m just writing today off entirely.

I think tomorrow might be a lazy day too, as I am heading out to the lake. I’ll bring my notebook for sure, but I won’t be mad if I don’t get anything done. I’ve got a bit of an issue in the second book right now that I need to resolve, and then I want to start drafting the third book. That will be my plan for the week, I think. But I’m definitely going to have a slow start because it’s what I need.

Burning Both Ends

I think I need to take a step back from something over the next few days because I definitely find that I am crashing with exhaustion at various points in the day. In good news, despite the terrible effect it is having on my brain sometimes, it’s not affecting my writing. Yet. I’m trying very hard to work hard to make progress on my novel, but I have to remember that it’s a marathon and not a sprint. That it’s okay to take days off and not have to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning to make up for it. I need to remember that. Balance. Still working on that.

I’ve got plans for both Monday and Tuesday, so I think I’ll take those two days off. But I’ll still kill myself tomorrow, trying to get a bunch written. I’m in a good place and a good groove right now and I want to keep up that momentum, but sleep is also a good thing. Which is what I’m going to do right now.  So sorry for the short post and goodnight!

And Nothing

After such an incredibly productive day yesterday, today there was nothing. It wasn’t because I didn’t have the want to write, it just didn’t happen. I feel like there wasn’t enough time. I didn’t even vlog, to be honest. Well, I recorded about two seconds of clips, so what’s the point. It was just a weird day. C’est la vie. It happens sometimes. I’m a little bit sad about it, not because I didn’t get the writing done, that’s fine. It’s more that I’m really into the story right now and I’m sad that I didn’t get to continue it.

It’s actually really interesting. I started this particular story 8-9 years ago. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. Well, maybe not exactly what I was doing. I was sitting in class, probably a history class, and staring out the window. The fire alarm went off in the library and as I watched everyone spew out from the exits I thought “hmm, it would really suck if the library actually caught on fire. Imagine all those books catching on fire.” Books catching on fire would be terrible. I really like books. Spoiler alert, no books catch on fire in my story, at least not yet. I don’t have it planned. But I wondered what it would be like to be in the library when the fire alarm went off. And so, somehow, a story was born. When the story first started, it started in a library. The story no longer starts in a library. It’s since become a much larger and more expansive story. But, the library does make a return. It makes a return in book two. So right now, as I’m planning book two, I am working on the exact time that the story started. It’s amazing how much different it is. It’s so exciting to see how much it’s evolved and how much better it’s become compared to what it first started as. Somewhere, I have a decent amount of this part of the story written the first time around. It’ll be very neat to see how different it is when I write this part of the story again. Let’s just say that this time, it’s going to make a lot more sense. And that’s a great thing. So I’m really excited about planning out this book. I am a little concerned about the third book, not going to lie. It’s still a little weak. I have hope, though, because I’ve been adding so much to this second book, that by the time I get to the third, it should be fleshed out a little bit more.

But now I’m going to go try to get some writing done before I go to sleep, so at least I’ll be able to say I got something done today.

I’ve Done Two Crazy Things This Week

Well, maybe they aren’t that crazy. More like one awesome thing, and one scary thing.

Firstly, I dyed my hair back to green and I am so happy about it. I’ve had my hair green on and off (mostly on) for the last five years. I really like it. I remember the first time I did it. I pulled the towel off after rinsing out the colour, and my first thought was “Yep, that’s right.” I felt like it was the colour my hair was supposed to be. Ever since then, any time I’ve gone back to a normal hair colour, I always feel like something’s not right. I feel self-conscious. I don’t feel like me. I recently dyed my hair back to a normal colour because I was in someone’s wedding and I respect that they didn’t want my hair to be green in their pictures. And something always kind of felt off. And then I dyed my hair back to green and everything felt better. I feel happier. I’m not saying that I wasn’t happy before, but I feel amazing now. Green hair is the colour I’m supposed to have. I would just love it if one day I could just pay to have someone else do it. I just have too much hair to do it on my own now. But mainly I don’t see the point in paying someone to do something that I can do myself. Also, trust issues. One day I’ll frequent salons to find someone I trust to do my hair colour for me. But for now, it’s on me.

The second crazy thing, which is actually maybe a scary thing, because it means that I think I’m getting to that point, is that I started looking up literary agents in Canada. Yikes! I know you don’t need an agent to get published, but if I could have one in my corner, I think I would prefer that. Just someone to fight for me, so I can write and just do what I do best. And it would be super nice to have someone that knows the business inside and out. The only problem is that there are only something like 30 literary agents in Canada, and most of them seem to either focus on non-fiction or don’t want to add new clients. I did, however, find one that was pretty promising. They have a few agents on staff and I even found that some of them seem to align with my work and what I want to accomplish. So I wrote the names down and I will keep that for future reference. I also looked at the submission requirements. I’m not quite there on those, but I’ll get there. Scary, but exciting.

Yikes!

I can’t believe I missed two blog posts in a row! This is terrible! Honestly, there was a time in my blogging life when I would have freaked out about blogging every day. I would get stressed out and would be walking down random streets trying to connect to any free wifi signals so that I could post a couple stupid sentences for that day, even though I didn’t have much to say. I still don’t have much to say, but I no longer freak out about missing a blog post. I didn’t realized I missed two though, and I can tell you what happened. On Monday, I was an idiot and accidentally checked off “Blog” in my agenda for Tuesday. I figured I would remember that I hadn’t blogged. Turns out I didn’t. Oops. My bad. And then yesterday I just straight up forgot. I wish I could say that it’s because I’ve been having super productive days and so I haven’t had time to blog, but that’s not the case. If anything, I’m more likely to remember on my more productive days because I’m always on my computer and/or looking at my agenda.

I’m here, now, though, and maybe I’ll be able to get in two blog posts today. We’ll see, though. I’m currently set up at the dining room table. It’s almost 1pm and I’m still in my PJs, and pretty okay about that. I also have apple chips cooking in the oven and I’m in the process of baking bread. Well, in the prep stages of that. I have about two and a half hours to go before it’s ready to go in the oven. I feel like I’m sounding a bit like a baking blogger right now, but I will assure you that that is not the case. Especially because I just looked up from my computer and had to run across the kitchen to deal with my yeast starter that was overflowing from its measuring cup and spewing out over the counter. It’s contained now and mixed in with the other starter ingredients, but boy did that give me a bit of a heart attack that I didn’t need to have.

Totally unrelated, but I think I am still struggling with this work-life balance thing. Even though the work has changed, I’m still not quite there. I think the problem is that I can do my work whenever and from wherever, which, instead of meaning that I’m super productive, means that I put it off and wind up writing into the wee hours of the morning. I don’t think I’ve climbed into bed earlier than 3am for the last week. That’s bad. Well, I really enjoy writing that late at night, the problem is that I also want to get some writing done during the day. My family members that I live with tend to come home around 4:30pm every day. I prefer to have all my writing and chores for the day done by that time so that I can socialize. However, when I stay up until 3am, I usually want to sleep until 11am. That means I only have five hours to finish everything I want to accomplish. On days when I only have writing planned, this normally isn’t a problem, but on days when I have to do laundry, or want to bake, it doesn’t generally work out. I’ll get there though, I’m sure of it. It’s just a matter of how, and if I have to pull an all nighter in an effort to shift my sleep schedule back a bit. I don’t even know if that would work, though, because my insomnia is pretty powerful when it comes to keeping me up at night. Yes, I am working late at night, but also my insomnia is like “Hey! Think about this! What about that? If you close your eyes… spiders! Ha! Now you have to open them up again because you’re freaked out. Wow… why aren’t you asleep yet.” Yeah, it’s fun.

But now it’s time to go punch some bread dough and try to be uber productive.